Ein perfekter Tag (TFIF Kap. 1)

Der Tag begann für Alexandra wie so viele in letzter Zeit. Sie stand bereits mit zu wenig Schlaf auf, weckte ihre beiden Kids zum Frühstück, schmierte Schulbrote und brachte die beiden zur Bushaltestelle. Zurück zu Hause machte sie sich einen zweiten halben Kaffee – dieses Mal eine Tasse zum Genießen. Sie überflog die Zeitung und machte sich dabei schon einmal gedanklich eine To-Do-Liste für den heutigen Tag. Seufzend legte sie die Schlagzeilen beiseite, da ihr die Müdigkeit die Konzentrationsfähigkeit stahl und kritzelte stattdessen die nun nach Präferenzen geordnete Liste an den Seitenrand.

François

Oh du mein Freiheitskämpfer, du meine hundert tausend Lux,

Wie soll ich dich bloß erreichen, wo du mir doch so nah bist?

Du hast alles, was ich erstrebe, und doch eine Sache zu viel,

Niemals würde ich einen Schritt in deine Richtung tun, aber alles, kämst du mir entgegen.

Meine Wünsche entrücken den Himmel meinem Horizont und wenn du mich nur ein einziges Mal ansiehst und berührst,

Bringst du mich zum Funkeln.

Freiwild

Ich will nach dir jagen dürfen, wenn du Freiwild bist

Und dass du dich von mir fangen lässt; wie, wo und wann auch immer du mich brauchst

Verlier‘ deine Hände in meinen Haaren und

Verbieg‘ mir die Schlüsselbeine so, dass ich dir zwischen die Rippen schlüpfen kann

Ich will dir überall gut tun, wo es dir wehtut, und dir alles wegnehmen, was dich am Boden hält.

Ich möchte, dass du dich nach mir umsiehst und darauf Acht gibst, dass ich in deiner Nähe bleibe.

Du bist die Vollendung meiner Vorstellungskraft

Und ich das Alpha, das zu dir passt.

Hundert Tausend Lux

Du bist nicht perfekt, doch du wärst es für mich

Einmal angestoßen, schwingen unsere Fäden und wispern von dir in den höchsten Tönen

Meine Spiegelneuronen möchten dein Licht reflektieren

Und du bist so vollendet, dass ich mich bei dir so sicher fühle wie bei niemandem sonst.

Habe endlich den gefunden, der gleichstark ist wie ich und hoffe, du kannst mich erkennen.

Nimm mich überall hin mit, wohin dich dein Fernweh zieht.

Ich kann dein Leben bereichern, wenn du mich wertschätzt, und bei dir sein, wenn du mich liebst.

Gewächshaus der Stacheln

Ich sitze in der Wohnung, die so ähnlich ist wie die, in der ich wohne ─ genau gleich, aber doch anders. Die Uhr im Esszimmer schlägt zu jeder Viertelstunde. Sie ist eine richtige Glockenuhr als älteren Zeiten und mit viel Liebe und Geschick selbst zusammengebaut.

Fair Play – Chapter 1: Night Call

>> Read the prologue
>> Listen to the soundtrack

Night Call

There’s something inside you –
It’s hard to explain

They’re talking about you, boy,
but you’re still the same…

::

When the sun rises after a night of darkness, Alex’s time has come, and as soon as her time has come, she goes out for a run.

Her favourite sports didn’t come along with classes, yet she had to learn many things about running. Fiercely, she inhabited anything there was to know, fell in love with Nike, and every second day, she went for a run, to run and run and run… she found a passion she never knew she would, and it suited her pretty well. It gave her peace.

Peace was what she needed; freedom of mind. In every-day life, her spirit was controlled enough. Running gave her the possibility to let loose. It was a sport she knew she couldn’t compete on with anyone else, and with heavy breaths she realised that she didn’t had to. She wasn’t athletic, at least not yet, but she had persistence, and persistence was everything she needed to complete her will.

It was never her mindset that was in her way, only her capabilities. When she was too eager, she didn’t recover from injuries, and she got over it on her own every single time.

Her academic track however filled itself with sticks and stones. Unable to find what she was looking for, Alex struggled with her decisions all the time. Although she attained university far from home, she still had to face the feeling of not being grown up enough, and realising that the eagerness of her younger years, setting school as the number one priority, gained her nothing on the long run. She felt like going to university and studying law was the only thing she could do, as she believed to have no other skills, hence she struggled with learning and completing courses and exams – a battle she never had to face before. The reason why she went on merely was that the status of being a college dropout frightened her more than ending up with dead dreams.

Fair Play: Prologue

There are three options that you can decide on in your life before it is too late and you end up being nothing. During your early childhood, the decision might me made for you by your parents which pretend to know best and refuse to let you take none of all. The three options you can opt are music or another art, sports and school.

Alex was born with many exceptional capabilities, but having to face the burden of being an all-round talent, somehow her path wasn’t always as easy as it looked at the first glance. She had the absolute pitch and her family owned a piano, but she wasn’t forced to play any instrument, so she ended up being an average singer never mentioning the hidden talent. She also had strong instincts and quick reflexes, but as she was more a persistent than an athletic type, she wasn’t expected to be good at any sport, so she participated in ballet for only two years and riding horses all her life yet as a leisure time activity which she skipped when she got too busy and out of priorities. So the decision which defined her life was being good at school, a priority which out of her natural competitiveness, she sorted upon any other aspect of her life, even her friends. Starting in early age, she was aware of the possibilities she had with educational success. Alex strived for independence as soon as she could think for herself, thus there was no discussion about which course to take or which school to go to, as she made those decisions on her own, never facing any obstacles.

Yet, with any option that is taken, there is always a time of change coming along, which often happens when growing up or reaching another level. In her case, Alex ended up with her a level exams and nowhere to go, as the path she had always went along before could never show her the way of how to reach dreams. She never took her desires for realistic or possible and for a very long time, her dreams stayed exactly what they were, without her reaching for them – until there was nothing left that she was proud of, because she felt empty and lost inside.

Taking chances was more a romantic imagination than real life for her. Her personality was varied, with more facets than she could ever count, thus she had always been able to just fit in, never being outstanding or special, which gave her the possibility to change like the weather but refused to show her who she truly was.

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>> Read Chapter 1

…as soon as I upload more, I will make a post on my Facebook page, so have a look :)

Fair Play!

Seit einiger Zeit probiere ich mich an einer neuen Kurzgeschichte… :)

Wo gehst du hin, wenn die Welt dir offen steht?

Where would you go, if you could go to any place in the world?

 

What would you do to get to know your limits?

What would you say to those you leave behind?

How can your heart ever be fixed again when, with every new friend you meet, they will get one piece you’ll never find again?

What are you so eager to find on your way and which part of it will you bring back home? Will it merely be some kind of accessories or will it maintain some kind of meaning after so many years?

 

But most of all, will you look back and think “Those were the best Days of my Life!” and drown in nostalgia of the old days and never want to see a new sun rise?

Stranger in Moscow

neu bin ich
in der Stadt
weiß noch nich
was ich mach

weiß allein
ich wollte weg
bin allein
es gibt kein Fleck

auf dieser Welt
der mich nich
gefangen hält
jeden find ich

schön auf den ersten Blick
die Straßen und die Gassen
bepflanzt und voll von Dreck
kann ich mich hier fallen lassen

fühl mich nich mehr fremd
gehör schon fast dazu
keiner der mich kennt
keiner hört mir zu

anders offensichtlich
sind sie alle gleich
geb ich mich beschäftigt
nostalgie macht mich weich